View on interracial dating
Interracial marriages are just like any others, with the couples joining for mutual support and looking for ways of making their personal interactions and parenting skills work in harmony.Yet, some interracial couples say that intermarrying, which in the past was often the cause of angry stares and sometimes worse, can still bring on unexpected and sometimes disturbing lessons in racial intolerance. Looking back at their time in Atlanta, however, the pair recalled how they sometimes drew stares in the airport, and how Mr. Higgs admits that sometimes, if they’re running an errand together, such as getting something notarized at a bank, he’ll wait outside, just to keep the tellers from asking suspicious questions because he’s black. Cannata feels badly when he does things like that, but Mr. Pitt, emboldened by his ridiculous comment, looked him square in the eye, she said, and told him, “I think what you meant to say was congratulations on your recent engagement.”While moments like this don’t often happen to them, the couple, now newly married, say that their mixed marriage has played a bigger role than they thought it would in deciding what kind of community they want to be a part of and where they want to raise children. Khurana, a 33-year-old corporate and securities lawyer, is the product of a biracial marriage himself (his father is Indian, his mother is half Filipino and half Chinese).An interracial relationship seemed incongruent with her principles and politics, hypocritical even.This did not escape Angelou, who discussed her apprehension about marrying another white man with her good friend James Baldwin.When I was a new mother living on the Upper West Side of Manhattan in 2010, I often forgot that my infant son, Harper, didn’t look like me.As I pushed him around the neighborhood, I thought of him as the perfect brown baby, soft-skinned and tulip-lipped, with a full head of black hair, even if it was the opposite of my blond waves and fair skin.“He’s adorable. ” a middle-aged white woman asked me outside Barnes & Noble on Broadway one day, mistaking me for a nanny.“I am his mother,” I told her.Christine Cannata, a 61-year-old retiree, and her longtime African-American partner, Rico Higgs, 68, recently moved from Atlanta — where their relationship sometimes attracted unwanted attention — to Venice, Fla., a predominantly white city where they say neither one feels like anyone blinks at their relationship. They’re an older couple, they’re in love, and no matter who the crowd is, Mr. Higgs had been stopped by the police of that city for what Ms. One time, officers pulled them over three blocks from their house; they wanted to know what he was doing in the car and asked to see his identification.“When you love someone, it’s hard to watch them be treated differently,” Ms. Higgs says, “It always makes things go smoother.”Katy Pitt, a 31-year-old consultant in Chicago, recalled being at a party in the months after her engagement to Rajeev Khurana. And as of late, he’s feeling less certain that he wants to stay in Lincoln Park, the upscale Chicago neighborhood where they now reside. Pitt’s idea to start househunting in more diverse areas of the city.