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19-Jun-2020 15:27

Strangely, you’ll be more annoyed by your sleep being disturbed than you are by the end of your relationship.Neighborhood: Lisle (technically it’s a village) Jeff likes long walks on the beach, small children, cuddling, and is more than willing to watch romantic comedies.He manages to hold down some sort of corporate job by day, but only because his boss hasn't figured out a way to legally fire him just yet.He spends his work days in a red-eyed, hungover stupor (last night at Moe’s was WICKED, brah!In fact, around 90% of his thoughts are eerily similar to the lyrics of Dennehy: Bears, Hawks, Sox, Bulls.His weekends are spent tailgating at Soldier Field or the Cell, grilling brats, chops, dogs... That being said, that never-ending “rain or shine” level of devotion is a huge bonus.The inevitable breakup: Just when you begin to daydream about what married life will be like with this nice, NORMAL guy, he’ll break up with you without warning and will start dating a girl from “da nayber-hood.” You have a sneaking suspicion it’s because you wore a Cubs shirt to bed one night.Neighborhood: Hyde Park He just moved to Chicago from Washington (DC you’re pretty sure?

Fifty percent of your date will be spent sitting with an awkward smile plastered on your face while he catches up with everyone he bumps into.The inevitable breakup: He’ll stubbornly refuse to visit you one too many times because he “HATES going Downtown!” and refuses to accept the fact that Logan Square is not even close to “Downtown.” Neighborhood: Bridgeport He lives on his own...) and spends more time attempting to sext girls than he does doing actual work.

Your first date: Any beercade in the city you want... The inevitable breakup: He’ll make out with a drunk sorority girl at Sluggers, then call you crying hysterically at 4am to slurredly beg for your forgiveness.

Neighborhood: Humboldt Park An Art Director at Leo Burnett, he’s lived in the neighborhood since 2006 when he arrived in Chicago from Wyoming to attend -- and subsequently drop out of -- the Art Institute.

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