Dating your ex spouse ex spouse
On the one hand, he is the Giver, who never wants to hurt you, always wants to meet your needs, wants to keep his family together, and is ashamed by his past misbehavior.This is the side of him that you know loves you and that you want desperately.I know that I love him and he loves me but I am afraid that we are trying to hold on to something that just can not be repaired.Do you think that there are marriages that are not repairable (even if both partners are willing to stay together)? You had one of those marriages that when I hear about them, I heave a sigh.I told him that I needed to see some lasting changes in "him" before I would consider working on "our" relationship.I told him that I would agree to counseling if he would stop seeing other women.
Granted, he was an emotional threat, capable of driving you (and your family) nuts.After 3 months he wanted to move back home and I agreed---actually was thrilled to death to keep my marriage and family together.My friends and family had a much more difficult time dealing with this than I. Then, 4 years later, he moved out again and starting seeing another woman. It was a very nasty divorce that included too many friends and family (and self-serving attorneys).And there are many marriage counselors who would tell you that you did the right thing when you divorced him.
But I would have tried to look at angles that you may not have considered.
They are orchestrated by his Giver and Taker, who live miles apart in his mind.