Dating sober man
Sam continues, “Dating in the program is obviously nice, because you speak the same language and you don't have to hide your ugly past.However, the chance of that person relapsing can also be very high.” And, she would know.The old “I’ve wrestled with my demons and won” line? How about a simple, “I’m a pretty hot colossal f**k up”?It’s always a little awkward when a potential date wants to “meet you for a drink.” Telling them you’re sober feels like confessing to some horrible chronic STD.With somebody not in recovery, can they really ever understand your plight or your background? For those of us who are lucky enough to have escaped addiction to drugs or alcohol, there’s still a lot of things to negotiate.Nothing is cut and dry, and love is messy wherever you find it.We are living in a cultural moment where meeting someone through a dating app is more likely than trying your luck in the wild.Even though the smartphone is, for many, replacing the bar, the ritual of meeting for a drink is still deeply embedded in dating routines. The subjects of drugs and alcohol never need come up — that is, until you are ready to have talk about them.
I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?During her sobriety, Sam’s had two relationships with fellow sober addicts, but both ended because of their relapses. Dating a fellow addict can feel a bit like betting with the odds against you.Hannah, a designer with startling blue eyes, is currently in a healthy relationship with a guy who’s been sober for almost 12 years. “Sober guys who are working a program [following the steps recommended by AA and NA] are the greatest.I say grab it with both greedy hands if you stumble upon it, and do whatever it takes to keep it, as long as it works for you.
"Actually, I don’t drink.” Too often, saying that can feel like an apology.
“The pros of dating in the program are that, chances are, the guy won't leave me when he finds out some of the things I have done.