Best questions to ask online dating
Best of all, there were hundreds of online dating sites waiting for me to sign on. We'd meet up later that day, when I'd discover that he was (a) five inches shorter than he listed in his profile; (b) "fun-employed" and no longer looking for a job; (c) still in some kind of relationship; (d) possibly a serial killer; (e) all of the above.
There was just one problem: I didn't want to throw myself back into the dating pool. I wasn't interested in meeting dozens of single men.
It may seem like online dating is straightforward, but what's happening behind the scenes—and your screen—can be confusing and can often produce bizarre results.
Here are some basic answers to the questions you might be too embarrassed to ask.1.
I've tracked and analyzed data, spoken to computer scientists, and figured out what makes certain profiles successful.We may fib a little when describing whether we smoke, but what incentive is there to stretch the truth about what we want in a mate? How much should I explain about myself in my profile? Think about how websites write their headlines, e.g., "9 Out of 10 Americans Are Complete Wrong About This Mind-Blowing Fact." After reading that, you want to know what the fact is, right? Create a sense of mystery and excitement and give people a concrete reason to contact you.6. But you need to be explicit and honest about where you live early on—and you need to be willing to put in the effort to drive out to see the people you're meeting.7.I live in a massive city with millions of possibilities—why can't I find anyone good online? Maybe it's coming across as bitter rather than funny.This may seem counterintuitive, but it can be harder to find what you're looking for in denser geographic areas. It's entirely possible though that you've done nothing wrong at all and that you have a very good profile.
There's a collective "bigger better deal" phenomenon in cities. Going in to refresh your profile once a day could potentially help, depending on the dating site you're using. If you're looking for a long-term relationship, you probably should buy at least a three-month membership.
I even wrote a book about what I learned—and included a final chapter written by the man who took me out on my last-ever first date.